Time Magazine’s cover story this week takes a head-on look at our oil future. In the tightly wound and sometimes muddled piece, we are reminded quite clearly that there is still no substitute for oil, and it remains by far the most heavily used fuel for transportation in this country.
The new kid on the oil [...]
Santa’s Transportation Costs
Visiting all the world’s girls and boys in one night is one heck of a commute, especially with tons and tons of presents loading the vehicles down. Good thing Santa’s running on renewables!
The typical family in North Pole, Alaska spends $964 a month on transportation. Of course, Mr. & Mrs. Claus are far from the typical family. What are Santa’s transportation costs?
First, the reindeer. Do you have any idea how much it costs to take care of a reindeer? Neither do I. However, Cindy at Reindeer Games in Wisconsin was kind enough to tell me that it costs about $2,000 a year per reindeer. This includes feed, wellness, and keeping the fences up. So with nine reindeer, that’s $18,000 a year.
What about the sleigh? The most expensive sleigh I could find on eBay was going for $3,800. Let’s assume Santa has a pretty amazing sleigh, costing $5,000. Santa benefits from keeping his 2,010 year old sleigh in tip-top shape, thanks to his crack team of elf mechanics. So the cost of depreciation, which is normally one of the biggest parts of the cost of transportation, is pretty low for Santa. He probably gets a super tune-up every year, so let’s say he spends $1,000 a year on sleigh maintenance—hey, those elves have families to feed! So his total operating costs are $19,000 a year.
Let’s say Santa gets away with magically not having insurance. He didn’t take out a loan for his sleigh, so he doesn’t have any finance charges. Since he lives off the grid, we can assume he doesn’t pay taxes. However, I’m sure he pays the $5 FAA registration fee.
Now for all the other miscellaneous costs…Santa rides in style, blinging out his sleigh with $100 worth of accessories. And an air freshener—can you imagine riding behind 9 reindeer for 24 hours? Finally, $5 for nose polish to keep Rudolph shining bright.
So, in total, transportation costs Santa $19,115.49 a year, or $1,593 a month. Pretty steep! Except if you look at his cost per mile. According to some smart people with really big computers, Santa’s optimal route, visiting all the world’s boys and girls, would be 4,670,193.27 miles. That’s just $0.004 a mile—way less than the $0.55 standard the IRS uses. So by using renewables and keeping his depreciation low, Santa really gets a pretty good deal!
BONUS: Where is Santa’s most location efficient place to live? The North Pole? Finland? Nope, it’s…Kyrgyzstan! According to some logistics folks, the remote border between Kazakhstan and Kyrgyzstan is the best place for reaching the world’s population center.
Got a different idea of what Santa spends on? Want to do a CO2 life cycle analysis? What about the Easter Bunny? Let me know below!
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GREAT JOB!
i think you are absolutely on the right track with no insurance for santa – one, he won’t have an accident and two (more importantly), seriously – who would REALLY be foolish enough to sue santa and likely end up on the naughty list. can you truly name a lawyer who wants that
the way i read the faa registration, santa is not required to register
santa can answer no to all of the following questions (requisite for registration)
* a U.S. citizen as defined in 14 Code of Federal Regulations Part 47.2.
* a Resident Alien (foreign individual lawfully admitted for permanent U.S. residence
* a U.S. governmental unit or subdivision
* a non-citizen corporation lawfully organized and doing business under the laws of the U.S. or one of the States as long as the aircraft is based and primarily used in the U.S. (60% of all flight hours must be from flights starting and ending within the U.S.)
Thanks for checking Marcus- I bet Santa will leave you something nice for saving him $5!
Hi, I guess the Kyrgyzstan location is true only if Chinese children believes in Santa! But as they are catching up with US globalized way of living, and culture, this might be a right asumption!!